Ever since my blog LoneStarCyclone has been on hiatus [since approximately two weeks ago] I have had an overwhelming urge to blog, to communicate feelings and thoughts to cyberspace. Though I am unaware as to how many people actually took time from their hectic day to read my other blog, or maintain updates with it, I would be no less
surprised if this were the same way, but this will not have the backing of the Office of Admissions and advertisements through MySpace and Facebook, of course. Which means I will not have to mass delete suggestive comments and provocative phrases from my email inbox. Ah, time saved in the day to be more efficient.
Since I am back to blogging, this can be a tad more personal than my flagrant advertisements for my Iowa State. I loved the opportunity, and hopefully I will be given the chance to continue the project, but I have found solace in this form of expression, and it’s even more useful now that my significant other is more than 800 miles away. It’s nice to know that while I am typing, he may be out there, somewhere, randomly reading my posts and smiling. That thought makes my heart smile.
Anyway. Back to real life.
Orientation is in full swing here on campus: with my job in June halfway through, I find myself wishing time would slow down and speed up at the exact same time. I am excited to spend two weeks with Eric in Ft. Worth, and see family and friends in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, but I am also not ready to let go of the experience of using the 100+ hours of training I have incurred over this past spring semester. Duties and responsibilities for orientation change daily, are exhausting, and leave me with little time to regain my sanity, but I have also gotten to know many of the other Cyclone Aides, and it’s wonderful. I really appreciate the time to get to know them all on a better level than just Tuesday and Thursday mornings from 8:00-9:20am.
As I write my post now, I know that I should take my own sound advice and go to sleep. It is, after all, 1:01am, and I will be giving a three hour campus/lunch/residence hall tour tomorrow for prospective students and their families, but I am, as usual, unphased by this daunting task, as I know that I will return to Martin merely to take a long nap until plans unfold for tomorrow night. I have never appreciated sleep more than now, when I am robbed of it for driving a campus shuttle van at 7:15am, or registering a son and a mother who obviously wanted to beat the rush at 7:30am, beating the other students by a full hour and fifteen minutes.
I had a good talk with another Cyclone Aide the other night- Molly, a fellow CA, will be spending her entire college career away from her boyfriend, and was extremely saddened by this fact. It was interesting while we were talking about coping mechanisms that she mentioned that I seem unphased by Eric being gone for a total of fifteen months within two years. I was surprised by this, but quickly reassured that there are many nights, on my own, in my head and heart, that it is very difficult to be away from him. The inability to turn to him and ask him something, quote a movie or TV sitcom phrase, a witty reminder of an inside joke, or even to simply hug him and smell him deep, taking in everything he is. I miss the small things most of all, and one of these days, I’m sure I will reach the straw that broke the camel’s back. But until then, he’s there and I’m here and there’s nothing much we can do about it. That is until July third, when I will see him for two full weeks- the highlight of my summer, by far.
Well, that is my cue to close my macbook, and drift to sleep;
I’m off to dream of the man that has made me a believer of love at first sight. ♥
